NOT .GOV

Now boarding: anyone radicalized by a single political adGate Feelings is delayed due to feelingsThe eagle has been crying since the group chat startedTSA PreCheck for drama is not a real productThis building is a website. The stamp is a CSS border.Final call for people mad at a sidewalkRenunciation is not a personality. A boarding pass from us is.We file nothing. We have never filed anything. We are proud of this.Now boarding: anyone radicalized by a single political adGate Feelings is delayed due to feelingsThe eagle has been crying since the group chat startedTSA PreCheck for drama is not a real productThis building is a website. The stamp is a CSS border.Final call for people mad at a sidewalkRenunciation is not a personality. A boarding pass from us is.We file nothing. We have never filed anything. We are proud of this.

SELF-DEPORT, OFFICIALLY

Leave through the real channel. Leave with a fake pass.

Politicians love the phrase. The law mostly doesn't have the form. This desk translates the bit into the actual exit — citizenship, green card, a clock on your stay, or a judge — then prints a boarding pass with the legal force of a pigeon in a beret.

Files nothing
No A-number. No passport. No mailing address.
Points at the real page
USCIS, State, EOIR, CBP. In new tabs.
Prints a souvenir
Screenshot it. Ruin a group chat.

A bald eagle in sunglasses and a neck pillow pushing a suitcase through an airport